One of the most important areas within a marriage is the sexual relationship.  This area has great potential for connection and intimacy, but also great potential for hurt and rejection.  In many ways, the sexual relationship is the relational barometer of a marriage.  If you are having sex frequently and are both feeling connected during sex, it is likely that is a result of you handling other areas of your marriage well.  If you have healthy communication, good conflict management, equal roles and responsibilities, etc. you are more likely to feel the connection it takes in order to foster an enjoyable sex life with your partner.

In regards to connection, men and women are often very different in this area.  Men typically need to have sex in order to feel connected.  Their biggest killer of sexual desire is not feeling pursued/wanted sexually.  Women, on the other hand, often need to feel connected first before they desire to have sex.  Their biggest killer of sexual desire in addition to not feeling connected is being tired (having too many things on their plate).

Through healthy communication and pursuit of each other, you can work on many of the areas that may be leading to an unhealthy sexual relationship.  The first area to look at is how you would rate your current pursuit of your spouse.  Do you spend intentional time with them?  Do you find unique and creative ways to care for them?  Do you show affection such as holding hands, hugs, kissing, and soft touch without the expectation of sex?  Do you communicate about how you both feel about your sexual relationship and how it could be better?  These are some very important questions to ask yourself and based on your response to them, you can come up with an action plan to pursue a healthier and more active sexual relationship with your partner.

For more information on improving your sexual relationship or your relationship in general, please feel free to contact Nathan Oliver or Amy Oliver at