There are many things that can draw our attention and focus away from marriage.  Some of the biggest are children, jobs, general business and outside relationships.  It is essential to prioritize your marriage if you want to see it grow and process.  There are many areas that are important to grow in as you prioritize your marriage, but the one that we want to discuss today is pursuing intimacy.

By intimacy, we don’t just mean physical intimacy.  Intimacy is an avenue of connection.  Some simple ways to connect are to spend at least 10 minutes of intentional time making eye contact and talking about the day. How often do you actually look your spouse in the eyes every day?  When you have children your attention is usually always on the them.  Be sure to fight for time together.  This can be done by doing your daily activities together such as exercise, chores, bills, etc.  Even if you are not talking, you are still in each others presence and that can foster intimacy.

Finally, learn new and creative ways to express affection and care for each other (without the expectation of sex).  It is still okay to pursue each other through notes, cards, etc.  A hug at the end of the day is an essential ingredient to connection and intimacy.  How often do you hold hands, kiss for long periods of time, or speak words of affirmation to your spouse?  Ask your spouse some things that you can do to show care for them and do them.  These little things can add up to big change for you both as you seek to prioritize your marriage.

For more information on marriage or any other mental health questions, please contact Nathan and Amy Oliver at