We often hear in life that we need to guard our hearts from the hurts and wounds of others.  The challenge is finding the balance between guarding your heart and putting your heart out there in relationships with those you trust to build connection and intimacy.  Rather than guarding your heart, we prefer to call this balance of protection and vulnerability “valuing your heart”. 

Many of us have been deeply wounded in relationships.  The wounds may be abuse in the past or present, a partner who was unfaithful, betrayal/rejection, constant conflict, a disconnected family or withdrawal from communication.  These hurts cause many of us to retract our hearts to keep them from continually being wounded.  Others continue to leave their hearts out there to be constantly hurt and wounded (often seen in codependent relationships). 

The reality is that there needs to be a balance.  Intimacy and connection are a privilege that need to be earned by consistent loving/selfless behavior on the part of the person we are in relationship with (whether it be friend, family or romantic partner).  The closer the person is to us, the more our hearts can be both uplifted or hurt depending on the circumstance.  It is essential then that we value our hearts and find a healthy balance between guarding our hearts and putting our hearts confidentially out there with those that will value them as well.

For more information on finding this balance in your life or any other questions about counseling in general, please feel free to contact us any time at www.olivercounseling.com.