Showing Tag: "couples" (Show all posts)

Three Secrets to Lasting Change

Posted by Nathan Oliver on Tuesday, October 2, 2012, In : Valuing Self 


Over our years of working with people whether it be marriages, addictions, teens, depression, or any other presenting issue, we have seen that there are three pillars that an individual must have in their life in order to support change.  Before they can even establish these pillars, they must first have a strong desire for change. Without having that first, it is unlikely they will do what is needed to establish these pillars.

The first pillar is community.  We live in a culture tha...


Continue reading ...
 

Can People Change?

Posted by Nathan Oliver on Tuesday, April 24, 2012, In : Valuing Self 

 
“How many counselors does it take to change a light bulb?  Only one, but the light bulb really has to want to change.”  

Forgive us for the corny joke, but we state it because there is a great deal of truth in it.  When it comes to any true transformation (whether it be addiction, marriage, anxiety, eating disorder, etc.), the greatest indicator of success is the true level of a person’s desire to change.  Many come to counseling skeptical of the idea that people can really change. We h...

Continue reading ...
 

Choose Your Spouse

Posted by Nathan Oliver on Friday, December 2, 2011, In : Marriage 



If you were to ask your closest friends and family members what or who is number one in your life, what would they say?  Would it be work, would it be your children, would it be your parents, your siblings?  The biggest question is what would your spouse say.  Do they feel like you chose them as number one in your life?

The process of choosing your spouse as number one can be difficult as often you have to let go of things you have been using for security in your life (habits, unhealthy fr...


Continue reading ...
 

Will We Get Divorced?

Posted by Nathan Oliver on Tuesday, November 1, 2011, In : Marriage 



When a couple in conflict comes in for marriage therapy, the first thing that is most often observed is not the words that they say.  Though many times the words may be very hurtful, sad, discouraging, or raw, it is what the body communicates that is often more important.  John Gottman from the Gottman Relationship Institute highlights one of the first things he looks for during the first session with a couple.  It is body language that unconsciously communicates contempt for their partner....


Continue reading ...
 

Guard Your Heart

Posted by Nathan Oliver on Wednesday, October 19, 2011, In : Valuing Self 


We often hear in life that we need to guard our hearts from the hurts and wounds of others.  The challenge is finding the balance between guarding your heart and putting your heart out there in relationships with those you trust to build connection and intimacy.  Rather than guarding your heart, we prefer to call this balance of protection and vulnerability “valuing your heart”. 

Many of us have been deeply wounded in relationships.  The wounds may be abuse in the past or present, a p...


Continue reading ...
 

Overcome Stress and Anxiety

Posted by Nathan Oliver on Monday, September 26, 2011, In : Anxiety 



We all experience stress and anxiety to some degree in our lives.  Unfortunately this has become accepted as normal by many.  Some would even say that a little bit of anxiety is good for you.  Anxiety and stress are ultimately fear based.  Fear always creates tension and tension always leads to pain.  So in the end there really is nothing good about stress and anxiety as they keep us locked up inside and prisoner to fear and tension. 
There are many sources of stress and anxiety in...


Continue reading ...
 

Cure for Anxiety

Posted by Nathan Oliver on Tuesday, September 6, 2011, In : Anxiety 



I wanted to discuss something my father-in-law shared with me a few weeks ago that I have found to be very profound.  We were having a conversation about tension and anxiety, something that he is very good at freeing people from.  He said that he has found in his life and in the lives of those he has helped that the “antidote” for tension/stress/anxiety is thankfulness and gratitude.  When you look at that from a psychological perspective, there is a great deal of accuracy and truth to ...


Continue reading ...
 

Improving Your Sex Life – Palm Beach Gardens

Posted by Nathan Oliver on Monday, August 22, 2011, In : Marriage 


One of the most important areas within a marriage is the sexual relationship.  This area has great potential for connection and intimacy, but also great potential for hurt and rejection.  In many ways, the sexual relationship is the relational barometer of a marriage.  If you are having sex frequently and are both feeling connected during sex, it is likely that is a result of you handling other areas of your marriage well.  If you have healthy communication, good conflict management, equal ...


Continue reading ...
 

Does Separation Lead to Divorce

Posted by Nathan Oliver on Monday, June 27, 2011, In : Marriage 


Many couples that we work with are at a crossroads in their relationship.  They are trying to decide if it really can work, or if it will not.  Every couple is different and therefore it is impossible to make broad statements about separation and divorce.  That said, the first thing to determine is which of the two paths you are on, divorce or restoration of your marriage.  Depending on how you both answer this question makes a huge difference in the steps you would take in your relationshi...


Continue reading ...
 

Community and Friendship Palm Beach Gardens

Posted by Nathan Oliver on Tuesday, May 31, 2011, In : Relationships 



We are made for community.  When it comes down to it, life really is all about relationships.  A common struggle for many is surrounding yourself with a healthy community of people.  People that know, support and love you.  People that will challenge and hold you accountable.  People you can be yourself around and be vulnerable to.

We often joke that there needs to be a website like match.com or eharmony.com that is for friends rather than for romantic relationships.  Many individuals and ...


Continue reading ...
 

Connecting With Your Teen – Palm Beach, Florida

Posted by Nathan Oliver on Wednesday, May 4, 2011, In : Parenting 

What in the world happened to that sweet little child that you once knew?  To the one who listened to what you said?  Who looked up to you?  Who wasn’t afraid to hug you in public?  Many parents fear the transition from child to adolescent.  The great change that happens both physically and socially (friendships, school, etc.) can be very intimidating.  The majority of parents feel completely unprepared for the teenage yea

Your once obedient child begins to push the limits in many ways y...


Continue reading ...
 

Emotional Intelligence Palm Beach

Posted by Nathan Oliver on Monday, April 18, 2011, In : Valuing Self 


There is no question that one’s emotional intelligence has profound impact on success in both personal relationships and career.  Your ability to be self-aware and aware of others emotions will play a bigger role than your IQ when it comes to reaching your fullest potential in all areas of life. 

The first step in growing your emotional intelligence is to build self-awareness and self-management.  Self-awareness means having an accurate self-assessment, being conscious and present in reg...


Continue reading ...
 

Restoring Marriage after an Affair – Palm Beach Gardens, FL

Posted by Nathan Oliver on Monday, April 4, 2011, In : Marriage 

 

Over the years we have seen a growing number of couples that are seeking counseling to restore their marriage after an affair.  These have included both sexual and emotional affairs.  They have involved a past relationship that was recently discovered, a recent relationship, or relationships with several people outside the marriage over a period of time.  The emotional and relational devastation that any type of affair brings on a marriage is often very difficult to recover from.  Howe...


Continue reading ...
 

Prioritizing Your Marriage

Posted by Nathan Oliver on Monday, March 7, 2011, In : Marriage 



There are many things that can draw our attention and focus away from marriage.  Some of the biggest are children, jobs, general business and outside relationships.  It is essential to prioritize your marriage if you want to see it grow and process.  There are many areas that are important to grow in as you prioritize your marriage, but the one that we want to discuss today is pursuing intimacy.

By intimacy, we don’t just mean physical intimacy.  Intimacy is an avenue of connection.  S...


Continue reading ...
 

Emotional Intelligence Presentation Jan. 29 West Palm Beach

Posted by Nathan Oliver on Tuesday, January 25, 2011, In : Valuing Self 


What is Emotional Intelligence?

Gary Oliver defines emotional intelligence (EQ) as:

“The ability to be aware of, recognize and understand our own feelings and those of others and to constructively manage those emotions in ourselves and in our relationships.”  Emotional intelligence has been shown to be a greater predictor of success in life, jobs, marriage, parenting and relationships than IQ.  EQ begins with having an accurate self-assessment and awareness which means knowing what ou...


Continue reading ...
 

how to improve marriage- palm beach county

Posted by Nathan Oliver on Friday, December 10, 2010, In : Marriage 



Marriage can provide the greatest opportunities for connection, love and intimacy.  Because we open our hearts so vulnerably to our spouses, we can also experience great pain and struggle in our marriages.  That is why it is essential to consistently be seeking to improve your marriage and connection with your spouse.

Throughout our years in counseling, there has been no greater joy than to see a couple move from a place of hopelessness in their marriage to a place of health and growth.  The...


Continue reading ...
 
 

Oliver Counseling


Nathan and Amy Oliver Welcome to the Oliver Counseling blog. This blog is dedicated to providing you with weekly insights into mental, emotional and relational health. It is also a place that you can bring your questions about mental health, relationships or counseling in general. We can take your questions through email and provide answers to them in the form of future blog entries.

Tags

abuse add addiction adhd adolescent affair anger management anxiety better marriage better sex brene brown broken marriage career career counseling change cheating children christian christian counseling christian counselor communication community conflict contempt counseling counselor couples couples counseling couples counselor couples therapy cure cure for anxiety depression discipline divorce divorce recovery emotional health emotional intelligence emotions employement excercise family family counseling family counselor family therapy forgive forgiveness friend friendship goals gottman grief growth healing health heart help help with parenting hope hurt jesus job job success licensed licensed counseling licensed counselor licensed theripist licsensed counselor loss love making love manage emotions marriage marriage counseling marriage counselor marriage help marriage intensive marriage therapy mental health mental health counselor new years resolution oliver counseling open overcome pain palm beach counseling palm beach gardens panic attacks parenting professional counseling professional counselor professional counsleing professional therapist professional therapy psychologist psychology psychotherapy rehab rejection relational health relationship relationship counseling relationships resolution restoration restore my marriage save my marriage secrets separation sex sex life sexual addiction sexual relationship spouse strengths stress suicide teen teen counseling teenager tension therapist therapy transformation trust unfaithfulness vulnerability west palm beach wound

 Copyright 2008 Oliver Counseling, Nathan and Amy Oliver.  All Rights Reserved. 

 

Make a free website with Yola